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Monday, June 16, 2025

I:V:III: The Uneasy Alliance



III: The Uneasy Alliance

Halward moved through the woods like a man bearing a weight too long on his shoulders. Each step fell heavy on the soft earth, his breath drawn sharp against the night air. He kept one hand near the hilt at his side—not for show, but out of habit. The forest no longer offered peace. Not after blood had been spilled in its name.

The moon hung low above the ash branches, filtering silver light through the leafless canopy. Mist coiled around the roots, brushing his boots like curious fingers. Somewhere in the dark, an owl called and was answered. He reached the clearing at the edge of the old path—the one he had marked with a stone years ago, when he still believed the woods might hold only silence.

Hal stood still and waited. He did not call out. If Robin Hood had meant for him to come, then Robin Hood would be watching.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the folded scrap of parchment—Robin’s note, the arrow’s message, the summons to this place. Beneath it, his fingers brushed the indentation in the cloth where the fox token had rested days before. He had left it behind, a sign and a plea. A father’s barter. He remembered Wil’s face the morning he went missing—the firelight on his brow, the half-smile he gave Arrow before vanishing into the trees. Gone. Taken.

“You came,” said a voice behind him.

Hal turned.

Robin stood with the moon behind him, hood low over his brow. His silhouette was unmistakable—tall, poised, cloaked in the forest’s breath. He did not approach, nor did he reach for any weapon. Stillness was his shield.

“I came for the boy,” Hal said. His voice was tired, gravel laid over iron.

Robin nodded. “He lives.”

Hal’s jaw tightened. “Tomas?”

Robin lowered his gaze. “Dead. David blamed you—and the silence that followed. The ambush was his doing. When that failed, he took the boy.”

Hal’s eyes darkened. “The Sheriff knows of the ambush. It was reported. I came to stop a war, not ignite one.”

Robin gave a faint nod. “You came too late.”

They stood in silence. Between them, only frost and breath.

Hal finally broke it. “I won’t lose him.”

“You may not have a choice,” Robin said. “But you do have a path.”

He turned, just enough to reveal the road ahead. From his belt, Robin drew out a bundle—rough wool and coarse leather, shaped and stitched with care. A hood.

"You’ll wear this," he said. "Not for disguise. For debt. This meeting has cost more than coin."

Hal raised an eyebrow. "And this is the price I pay?"

Robin met his gaze. "No. This is the sign that you’ve paid it. That you understand what it means to walk blind into judgment."

Hal didn’t move.

Robin’s voice softened. “I thank you—for burying the dead. Rafe told me. They rest now, by the chapel. That peace matters.”

Hal's voice was low. “It cost us all. Alan was a good man.”

Robin looked away for a moment. “Whatever else you believe, know this—I will stand beside you when the time comes.”

Hal studied him. “You serve your own ends.”

“I do,” Robin said. “But not always. Not tonight.”

They stood a moment longer in quiet accord, neither fully trusting, but no longer strangers in grief.

“Come,” Robin said again. “They’re waiting.”

Hal took a breath, steadying himself. “Am I to walk in as their butcher?”

Robin shook his head. “You will not walk in at all—not as Halward. Not as Warden. You’ll be blindfolded. It is the only way.”

Hal stiffened. “You think I’d strike down a child?”

“They don’t know you,” Robin said. “They only know the man who killed Tomas. The gathering is rare—dangerous even. The forest does not come together unless it must. Not for years. But now, with the Sheriff’s men circling and the boy taken, they’ve come. Some out of duty. Some for blood.”

He stepped closer. “You’ll be brought in as a stranger. Let them judge what they see—not what they fear.”

Hal nodded, jaw tight.

Robin reached into his cloak and drew a strip of dark cloth. “You’ll be watched by many tonight. Rafe will speak for you. Maybe others.”

Hal eyed him. “And who are they?”

Robin’s voice was low. “Much. And Little John—the largest man you’ll ever see.”

He adjusted the edge of the dark cloth in his hand. “First, we go to Tuck’s. Then the Gathering Tree. My friends await us at the spring.”

He stepped forward. “You will listen. And I will lead.”

***

The cave lay low in the hillside, veiled beneath hanging ivy and twisted roots, warm with the breath of earth and steam. A spring-fed pool glistened near the back wall, feeding the hollow with its steady trickle. It was the kind of place the world forgot—and Tuck preferred it that way. The air brimmed with the scent of malt and bark, dried elderflower and bitter yarrow. Barrels and jugs lined the walls, each marked with a thumbprint in ash. This was no tavern. It was a shrine to the brewer’s art.

Brother Tuck sat slouched in a carved stump chair, his tunic stained, his jug half-full. Edric, his young apprentice, stirred something thick and aromatic in a clay pot over the fire. Neither greeted Halward. This was not their council—but their cave, there home. 

Robin led Halward inward. Around a rough-hewn table stood three men, each a stranger and yet somehow known.

Rafe was slender and tall, with streaks of grey at his temples and a lined brow that spoke of long nights under stars and longer days among ghosts. His eyes were pale green, reflective, as if they saw more than the present. He nodded respectfully but said nothing at first.

Much stood beside him, shorter and wiry, arms crossed over a chest wrapped in a patched leather jerkin. His dark hair was shaggy, his face sharp, and his mouth never quite still—chewing the inside of his cheek or working up the next retort. Suspicion danced in his gaze, but it hadn’t yet settled into hate.

Then there was Little John, towering and broad, with shoulders like stacked beams and hands that might crush skulls or cradle sparrows. He wore a long woolen cloak over roughspun, and a simple wooden bead hung from his neck. He did not smile, but there was no malice in his gaze. His presence filled the cave more than the firelight.

Robin motioned to a stool. “Sit. Speak plainly. Time’s against us.”

Halward sat. The weight of his armor creaked against the wood, but he made no move to remove it. He looked to the men gathered, measuring them even as he felt himself weighed.

Robin poured five cups of gruit, the scent sharp with rosemary and iron. Each man lifted his drink. No toasts were made.

“I did not come to beg,” Halward began. “The boy was taken from me. I have come to speak for him—not to excuse myself. I paid my toll with the fox token. I wore the blindfold. I came in peace.”

Much scoffed. “A Warden preaching peace?” He tilted his cup. “Strange times.”

“You killed our friends,” said Rafe—not Hal’s friend now, but Rafe o’ the Hollow, keeper of the old ways, his eyes unreadable in the flicker of firelight. “Three of them. One barely a man. You and I stood over their graves, but here, I speak not as the one who helped you dig them. I speak for the balance. Some here wonder if you didn’t come to finish what the king’s law began.”

Halward’s jaw tightened. “They died in battle. Defending themselves. So did Alan. So nearly did Hob. But I returned with them all. Even the ones I didn’t call comrades.”

“Alan was your man,” Much said. “The others were ours.”

“I buried them by the chapel,” Halward replied. “Rafe knows. The graves are marked. And I carry the names.”

The silence thickened. Even Edric had stopped stirring.

Robin leaned forward. “He’s not wrong to speak of peace. Nor is he owed trust. But he stands between two worlds. He enforces the king’s law, yes—but he has also fed the poor, taken no bribes, and turned his eyes from fugitives with children clinging to their legs. You call him Warden. The folk beyond the gate call him Halward the Just. And neither name is quite true.”

Rafe nodded slowly. “Balance, not peace. Forest law weighs what’s lost. Alan died. Tomas died. The others fell in battle. That should’ve been enough.”

“But it wasn’t,” Halward said. “David took the boy.”

“Which tipped the scale,” Rafe agreed. “What was restored has now been broken.”

“Forest law does not pardon,” said Much. “It remembers. But it listens.”

Little John stepped forward, his deep voice smooth as stone worn by river. “The trial is not a court. It is a weighing. The five elders—Voices of the Wind—they will sit beneath the Gathering Tree. They speak not their names, only their place: East, West, North, South, and the Last.”

“The Denizen,” Robin added. “He who speaks last, and whose word holds sway when none agree. The oldest voice. The only one all fear to lie before.”

“You will remain blindfolded,” said John. “The forest will not see you. Only hear. You speak for the boy. Rafe will speak as witness. And David will speak against you.”

Halward looked between them. “He’ll be there?”

“He honors the old ways,” said Rafe. “Though his heart is poisoned.”

“He blames me for Tomas,” Halward said quietly.

“He blames me,” Robin said. “But it’s easier to attack a man of the sheriff.”

Much leaned on the table. “This forest doesn’t forget. Don’t expect forgiveness.”

“I ask none,” Halward said.

“Then you may yet be heard,” said John.

Tuck stood at last and approached with a clay cup, steam curling from its rim. “You’ll want your wits,” he said again, offering it with two hands.

Halward drank deeply. The drink bitter and dark.

Robin placed a strip of linen on the table. “Come morning, you’ll wear this. Until then, rest what you can.”

“No torches,” Rafe added. “Many eyes watch.”

They rose together. Robin met Halward’s eyes one last time. “They fear the Sheriff’s reach. They fear betrayal. But they agreed to this. That’s not nothing.”

Edric banked the fire. Outside, the wind stirred low among the leaves.

***

The forest folk gathered in silence beneath the great oak known only as the Gathering Tree. Its limbs sprawled above like a cathedral roof, its roots deep as the memory of blood. Around it, torches hissed in iron sconces driven into the earth, their flames tossing shadows across cloaked figures. No names were spoken here. No steel was drawn. Forest law did not answer to crown or coin.

Halward was led blindfolded into the circle. The blindfold was linen, folded twice. He could see nothing, only feel the cold press of loam beneath his boots and the shiver of anticipation in the crowd. 

Robin’s voice came low beside him. "Stand tall."

A silence fell.

“O Great Spirit of Root and Hollow,
Guardian of branch, flame, and frost,
We gather beneath your ancient limbs,
Seeking not vengeance, but truth.

By breath of beast and cry of crow,
By shadowed path and sacred bough,
We ask your witness on this night.
Let the scales be held in steadied hands.
Let the heart speak what the tongue withholds.
Let justice bloom where blood was spilled.

Guide us, O spirit, where our eyes may fail,
And let no lie pass unseen beneath your tree.”

These words were spoken not by the crowd, but by a single, grave voice—the Denizen, last of the Voices of the Wind, and the unofficial lord of the council. His voice trembled like the boughs of the great tree above them, ancient and firm. Robin leaned close to Halward’s ear and whispered, "That is the Denizen." Halward, blindfolded and still, could feel the weight of the elder’s presence even without sight. The prayer was no mere tradition—it was a petition to the forest itself, a sacred rite seldom heard aloud. As the last word echoed into the hush, the fire cracked louder, as if the forest had heard and answered.

When the last syllable faded, Halward heard the crunch of footsteps around him. The council had entered the clearing.

Then—a whisper of wings.

Arrow dropped from the branches. With a flutter, the raven landed on Halward’s shoulder. His talons pricked through cloak and leather. Hal held still.

“Wil,” the raven croaked. “Wil… Wil…”

The sound struck through Halward’s chest like an arrow of its own. He dared not turn, dared not speak, but something in his breath steadied. The boy was alive. He was here.

A new voice entered the ring. Measured, bitter, familiar.

David.

He paced the circle slowly, boots brushing ash.

“You all know me,” he began. “You know what was taken. Tomas. A boy. A son of the forest. No sword. No shield. Only hunger and hope. He was beaten. Maimed. Left to rot by the king’s law. And who enforced that law?”

He stopped before Halward.

“This man.”

Murmurs rippled outward.

“I do not come to beg, nor to weep. I come to tell you this—if we let this stand, if we let his oath to Nottingham outweigh our own, then we betray everything we’ve built. Tomas died because no one paid his debt. Because gold matters more than grace. Because a Warden saw only a duty, not a boy.”

He turned to the council.

“You call this balance? Then the scale’s broken.”

Suddenly, a horn rang through the trees.

Not a forest horn.

A war horn.

Torches flared. Steel clanged. Then came the crash of boots on underbrush.

From beyond the circle, shadows surged forward—figures in chainmail and surcoats bearing the Sheriff’s mark. Sir Bertram’s voice cut through the panic:

“Seize them! In the name of the King!”

Screams erupted as forest folk scattered. Two of the Voices vanished into the trees. Arrows flew, some striking torches, others striking flesh. Halward ripped off the blindfold just in time to see Bertram’s men flood the glade, swords flashing in firelight.

He turned—searching, scanning—then he saw him.

Wilmot.

The boy was being pulled by one of David’s men, dragged toward the edge of the chaos.

“NO!” Halward roared.

His hand flew to his belt. Not for a sword—Robin had taken that as part of the pact. But Halward had always kept one blade hidden.

He drew the knife from his boot and ran.

David turned at the last second.

Their eyes met.

“You—”

Halward drove the blade deep into David’s chest.

Time slowed. David gasped. His hands closed around Hal’s arms, strong even in dying. His mouth opened, but no words came. Just the softest exhale, a sound like regret—or perhaps release. Blood poured down his tunic.

“I would have died for him,” David whispered, barely breath.

“You did,” Halward said.

David’s grip slackened. He crumpled to the forest floor, one hand brushing the ash as if to reach for justice he would never grasp.

Hal turned, grabbed Wil by the collar and pulled him close. The boy was stunned, wide-eyed, but alive.

Arrow screamed from above.

“This way!” Hal shouted.

With the raven leading, Hal barreled through the trees, Wil at his side. Behind them, fire lit the forest in unnatural shades. Screams and steel followed. The gathering had shattered. Balance was broken.

He did not stop until the screams faded behind them and the torches became distant flickers among the trees. Somewhere in the darkness, a small stream babbled over stones, barely visible in the moonlight. Halward paused and knelt beside it, catching his breath. The cold water steadied him.

He recognized the stream. Memory stirred. They were near a familiar path—a hunter’s track that ran near the old Roman wall. He followed it, heart pounding, the boy's hand clasped tightly in his.

Then the forest thinned. In the distance, the outline of the gatehouse emerged from shadow, its wooden beams like an outstretched hand in the pale dawn.

As they stumbled into the clearing, a figure broke from the gate.

"Hal!"

Oswin.

He rushed forward, eyes wild, voice hoarse. "What happened? Where—?"

Halward stopped him with a look. No words. Not yet.

Oswin looked from Hal to Wil, to the blood staining Hal’s tunic.

He said nothing more.

The three of them stood there, just outside the gate, beneath the lightening sky, as the first true birdsong of spring rang out across the hollow.

***

The morning sun arose softly, the fog clung low to the earth, silvering the grass and muting the world. Halward stepped from the gatehouse, wearied but alert, his thoughts still tangled in the chaos of the night before. His tunic smelled of smoke and sweat. Every joint ached, but his eyes were sharp.

And there, propped against the wooden frame of the gate, stood his sword.

Cleaned. Oiled. Returned.

For a long moment, he said nothing. No one else was in sight—no forest folk, no messenger. Only the blade leaning where it had once rested countless mornings before.

He approached slowly, as if testing whether it was truly there. A soft breeze stirred the early bloom of ash buds and carried with it a hint of wild thyme. The raven was gone.

He reached out, grasped the hilt, and felt the familiar weight in his hand. 

This uneasy alliance, it seemed, still stood.

But Halward knew better than to trust quiet mornings. He would need to be careful.

The gate yawned open before him. And beyond it, the unknown waited. 


Saturday, June 14, 2025

Tom Lea Park

We got there at 2 p.m. The sun’s dry heat clung to everything—sharp, unflinching, the kind of desert warmth that doesn’t smother but toasts you slowly from the outside in. The sky above was an unbroken sheet of blue, too vast to belong to just one country. Even the breeze felt baked—barely moving, more memory than motion.


Tom Lea Park sat high above El Paso, carved like a secret into the ridge, modest in size but rich with perspective. It doesn’t boast fountains or playgrounds. It doesn’t need to. It simply offers a view—one that silences conversation and narrows the soul to a single point of stillness.

From this ledge, the city sprawled below us in all directions, stitched together with power lines, highways, and heatwaves. Juárez sat just beyond the border wall, its buildings and boulevards as clear as if they belonged to the same city—because, in some deeper way, they still do. The wall itself zigzagged through the distance like a scar that hadn’t healed quite right. Geography, at least, remains more honest than politics.

The Franklin Mountains rose behind us—jagged, scorched, ancient. We were standing at their end, the southernmost reach of the Rockies, where stone gives way to valley and vision. They didn’t ask to be admired; they simply endured. The last breath of an old continent’s spine.

Tom Lea, the man for whom the park is named, was more than a painter. He was a chronicler of this borderland—a writer, a wartime artist, and a native son who saw the fractures and still chose to love the whole. He wrote once, “I live on the east side of the mountain. ... My life crosses the border. It is in my eyes and under my skin.” That quote felt tangible here. Not a metaphor but a fact, etched into the rock and wind.

We weren’t alone—there was a couple holding hands on the bench to our right, a jogger passed behind us, a man in business attire leaned on the railing murmuring into his phone. Life, in its many forms, kept moving. But all of it seemed slowed, muted somehow, against the weight of the view.

I thought of something else Lea wrote: “To see the world clearly, and to say what you see. That is what I try to do.” And maybe that’s why this place matters. Because clarity is hard to come by. Because from up here, above the heat and traffic and argument, a person might briefly see past lines on maps and laws in books—and instead, glimpse the truth that we are all neighbors, no matter how high the wall runs.

We didn’t stay long. The sun was relentless, and the city waited below. But the stillness stayed with me. The sense that something ended here—an old mountain range, maybe, or a way of seeing—and something else began.

We descended, but I know now what Tom Lea meant. To see clearly. To speak plainly. And to love a place—even when it’s complicated.


Paso Del Norte Bridge

It was my first time leaving the United States. And so, by necessity, it became my first time returning.

We crossed back into the country over the Paso Del Norte Bridge, the border visible not as a scar, but a seam—stitched with concrete, rebar, and the soft patience of people waiting in line. The traffic moved in steady intervals. No sirens, no shouting, just the shuffling forward of the human tide, each traveler holding a passport and a story.

I hadn’t known what to expect on re-entry. One hears things. Rumors, warnings, the bureaucratic myths of suspicion and snarl. But everyone was kind. The officer who scanned my passport greeted me like a regular customer. No theatrics. Just a nod, and the world resumed on the other side.

The truth is, beyond the politics, people are still people. They laugh, they shop, they complain about the weather. They love their families and worry about their jobs. They sell fruit on one side of the bridge and buy sneakers on the other. The flow of culture doesn’t respect the wall—it weaves through it. Language, food, music, clothing—it all bleeds through, like watercolor on wet paper. Beautiful, imprecise, human.

El Paso was waiting, quiet as always. I looked back once, toward Juárez, and felt something loosen inside me. Some old knot of assumption, pulled apart by hospitality. No one had to welcome me so warmly. No one had to help me order food, or find a magnet for my wall, or smile at my clumsy Spanish. But they did.

I return changed. A little more traveled. A lot more understanding. And if nothing else, deeply aware that the accident of my birthplace is not a badge, but a beginning. The border may be drawn in steel and concrete, but kindness knows no such lines.

I am grateful to have been treated not as a visitor, not even as an American—but as a member of the human race.


The Market

If the cathedral held the soul of the city, then the market held its pulse.

We stepped out from the cool shadows of the church into heat and noise so immediate, it felt like stepping onto a stage mid-performance. The plaza outside the Catedral de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe had transformed—no, it had always been this way—we had simply stepped into it late.

There were shouts and laughter, sizzling oil, horns in the distance, stray dogs weaving through stalls. The rhythm of commerce was in full swing. The line between sidewalk and store was erased. Men hawked bootleg DVDs and milagros. A woman passed with a tray of tamales balanced on her head like a crown. Behind her, a boy tugged at his mother’s dress, eyeing a wall of plastic toys that glowed in the sun like stained glass.

I ducked into a small store just off the cathedral, still half in a spiritual fog. On one wall, rows of rosaries hung like fruit; on another, crosses in wood and metal, some ornate, some rough. I chose a simple black crucifix, no taller than my palm—Christ rendered in silver, the wood almost matte in finish. Embedded in its center was a Benedictine medal, a small shield of protection tucked into the very body of the cross. I held it for a long moment before purchasing it. It felt like something I was meant to carry home.

Just outside, José helped me find a magnet. I could’ve chosen the cathedral, or the Virgin, or something kitsch and funny. But I chose the Equis—that giant red X on the city skyline, visible from nearly every direction. Stark and modern, political and poetic, it rises where the border bends, unapologetically bold. My little magnet version is glossy and loud, and I suspect it will claim its own space on my wall at home—standing out with the same grandeur and clarity the real one commands here.

From there, we wandered.

Color spilled from every awning. Music pulsed from alleyways. There were food stalls steaming with tamales and fried fish, shoe shine boys tapping rhythms on their wooden boxes, men in zoot suits dancing in the street with a kind of joyful defiance. Everyone had a hustle. Everyone had something to sell, something to sing, something to say. The market was alive in the fullest sense of the word.

This wasn’t the sanitized market of travel brochures. It was a living economy—built on necessity and grit and flair. It felt both improvised and ancient. I thought of medieval marketplaces outside European cathedrals, the way the sacred and the profane once existed side by side without contradiction.

Here, they still do.

People bartered with full voices and open hands. A teenager called out jokes from behind a stack of phone chargers. Two old women bickered over the price of bananas. Music clashed across invisible borders—ranchera from one stall, techno from another, mariachis from somewhere I couldn’t find.

This was no accident. This was a system of motion, and everyone here knew the steps. The market didn’t just sell goods. It sold identity, presence, survival. It wasn’t a backdrop to the city—it was the city.

We didn’t stay long—just enough to buy what we wanted and witness what we didn’t know we needed to see. And as we made our way toward the bridge back to the United States, the sounds of the market stayed with me like a radio left on in another room.

There was a holiness here. Not the kind measured in incense or sacraments, but the kind you find in effort, in color, in people doing what they must to make another day work.

The woman selling gum beside a Virgin statue.
The man dancing in the sun with no hat.
The teenager negotiating a discount like a diplomat.

It is not less sacred because it is loud.

It is not less meaningful because it is for sale.

If the cathedral was a sanctuary, then the market was a heartbeat.

And together—impossibly, beautifully—they make the music of life.


Catedral de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe

We stepped off the sun-bleached sidewalk into the shadows of the Catedral de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, not realizing we were walking into a Mass already underway. The choir was singing—a woman’s voice rising and falling like a bird in flight—while outside, just past the heavy doors, the market hummed. A man selling tamales called out to passersby. Someone tested a speaker with a burst of norteño. Laughter and traffic tangled in the air. Inside: liturgy. Outside: life. The separation between the two felt paper-thin.

This is Juárez—a border city, a city of tension and of motion, and this cathedral is its still point.

The Catedral de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe is not just a church. It is a layered body of faith, housing within it one of the oldest surviving missions in North America. The original adobe church—the Misión de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe de los Indios Mansos del Paso del Norte—was founded by Franciscan missionaries in 1659, built to evangelize the Manso people who lived along the Río Bravo. That chapel still stands, connected to the modern cathedral like a memory preserved in stone.

The mission was built during a time of conquest, a time when faith and empire marched hand in hand. It has stood through revolts, re-foundings, and rededications, through the Pueblo Revolt of 1680, the Mexican War of Independence, and the wars that followed. For centuries, it was the religious and political anchor of this region—a place where sacraments were offered and sovereignty debated.

By the 20th century, Juárez had outgrown it.

In 1941, construction began on a new cathedral, one that would match the city’s growing population and stature. It was built in stages over decades, a slow, steady layering of brick and devotion. Unlike Europe’s grand cathedrals, this one does not soar with flying buttresses or Gothic spires. Its beauty is modern and restrained—thick walls, soft light, angular lines. Built not for spectacle, but for use. Not for kings, but for workers.

It is a church of concrete and quiet strength, echoing the character of Juárez itself—a place marked by resilience, faith, and forward motion.

Inside, the air carries the weight of candle smoke, worn pews, whispered prayers. The walls are mostly bare, the focus drawn not to ornament, but to action: the priest’s hand raised in blessing, the kneeling bodies of the faithful, the gentle flicker of votive flames. Above the altar hangs an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, not golden or grand, but maternal. Watching. Waiting.

And as we stood there in the back of the nave, listening to the choir, I realized that this building was doing something most churches never quite manage. It was holding the city—not shutting it out, but letting it in. The open doors let in the sounds of the market, yes, but also its spirit: its energy, its striving, its noise.

There was no fight between the sacred and the secular here. They coexisted. They overlapped.

A child fidgeted in the pew. A vendor shouted a greeting outside. The priest spoke the words of consecration. Someone’s phone rang. A woman lit a candle. A man crossed himself and stepped back into the heat of the street.

It was dissonant.

It was holy.

This, I thought, is the music of life—not a perfect harmony, but a layered composition. The Mass and the Market. The prayer and the purchase. The incense and the exhaust.

This cathedral sings in both languages.

And somehow, they make one song.


Carlo Acutis

The boy is wearing sneakers. Bright green, Italian-flagged sneakers—the kind I might expect to see at a skate park, not here, flanked by thick adobe walls and centuries of incense. He stands beneath vaulted beams, the same beams that once shaded Manso elders, Spanish friars, Mexican revolutionaries, and now me, a curious pilgrim from Missouri. His name is Carlo Acutis, and he is not yet a saint. But his presence in this 360-year-old mission church feels like prophecy.

The Misión de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe de los Indios Mansos del Paso del Norte was founded in 1659—over a century before the United States declared independence. It was established by Franciscan missionaries to evangelize the native Manso people, and over the centuries it has stood through revolts, reformations, and revolutions. Its thick walls have seen candles lit for lost children, prayers whispered for husbands at war, and songs sung for a Christ who never quite stays buried.

And now, in one corner of this ancient space, stands a boy in blue jeans.

The statue of Blessed Carlo Acutis is unassuming at first glance—red t-shirt, backpack, the casual dress of a modern teenager. But over his heart blazes a golden Eucharist, and in his hand a rosary. At his feet, carved simply, his name: CARLO ACUTIS.

He was born in 1991, the same year the World Wide Web was launched to the public. He died in 2006 of leukemia. Just fifteen years old. And yet, in that brief life, he somehow managed to remind the Church what it means to believe.

To always be close to Jesus, that’s my life plan,” he once said.

Carlo was a computer whiz—he taught himself to code, learned graphic design and video editing, and used these tools not for ego or fame, but to evangelize. By age eleven, he had begun working on what would become his greatest project: a website cataloging Eucharistic miracles from around the world. By twelve, he had visited many of the sites himself, convinced that “the more often we receive the Eucharist, the more we will become like Jesus.

He saw the internet not as a distraction, but as a vehicle—what he called a “highway to heaven.” He spoke to his generation in the language of hyperlinks and servers, not incense and Latin—and in doing so, opened a door many thought closed.

It is not lost on me that Carlo died in Milan while wearing the same kind of sneakers I now see on his statue. His mother said that he offered his suffering for the Church and for the Pope. His tomb in Assisi has become a pilgrimage site for young Catholics across the world. And somehow, inexplicably, his relics now rest here, in Juárez—a city at the edge, a place that knows all too well what it means to live between worlds.

Juárez itself is a place shaped by borders—physical, cultural, spiritual. But Carlo Acutis crosses those boundaries effortlessly. His life is a bridge from the past to the present, and from the ordinary to the divine. In a church built to spread the Gospel to Indigenous peoples, Carlo is a new kind of missionary—one whose evangelization happens through servers, screens, and stories.

The only thing we have to ask God for, in prayer, is the desire to be holy,” Carlo once said. “If we have that desire, everything else follows.

In him, I see something the Church needs desperately: a new kind of saint. Not one locked in golden frames or distant centuries, but a boy who liked soccer and video games. Who struggled with the same temptations and distractions as the rest of us. Who believed holiness wasn’t an escape from the world, but a transformation of it.

All people are born as originals, but many die as photocopies,” he warned.

That line echoes now in this old church. It’s the kind of phrase that sounds like it belongs in a TED Talk, not a hagiography. And yet, here it is—carved not in stone, but in memory. In a world that encourages imitation and distraction, Carlo’s life is a call to live with clarity and purpose. To be yourself—fully, fearlessly, and for God.

As I sat in the wooden pew beneath the beam-darkened ceiling, I couldn’t help but feel the strange and sacred tension that filled the air. This building was once used to erase Indigenous identities. Now, it houses the statue of a boy who understood that true holiness doesn’t erase—it illuminates. It sanctifies the self without erasing the soul.

Before I left, I returned once more to Carlo’s statue. His eyes gaze upward, away from us, toward something higher. I wonder what he sees. A world not yet born? A Church not yet renewed? Or perhaps just the quiet face of Christ in the Eucharist, the way he always said he did.


Misión de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe de los Indios Mansos del Paso del Norte

The Misión de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe de los Indios Mansos del Paso del Norte is the seed from which modern-day Ciudad Juárez and, in many ways, El Paso, Texas, grew. It stands as one of the oldest continuously functioning missions on the U.S.-Mexico border, and perhaps more importantly, it stands as a symbol of both religious colonization and cultural endurance.

Founded in 1659 by Fray García de San Francisco, a Franciscan missionary, the mission was intended to convert and settle the Manso Indians, who had lived in the region along the Río Bravo (Rio Grande) for centuries. The full name of the mission says as much: it was for los Indios Mansos, the “tame” or “peaceful” ones—a colonial label as loaded as it is dismissive, yet telling of the European attitude toward the native peoples.

At the time, Spanish colonial power was expanding northward from Mexico City, and the region of El Paso del Norte was seen as both a strategic gateway and a fertile site for religious and agricultural expansion. But it was not a peaceful process. The mission, like many others, was both a church and a tool of empire—designed to re-order indigenous life around Spanish norms: Christian worship, European-style farming, and hierarchical authority.


The church that still stands today in downtown Juárez was completed in 1668, constructed out of adobe and vigas, with thick walls to resist time, attack, and the harsh desert. It survived raids, rebellions, and even the Pueblo Revolt of 1680, which drove the Spanish out of Santa Fe and forced them south to El Paso del Norte. During that time, the area swelled with refugees, and the mission became more than a religious outpost—it became a center of colonial governance and settlement.

What makes the mission especially fascinating is not just its longevity, but the layered history that unfolded around it. Over the centuries, it has been a backdrop for the movement of peoples—indigenous, Spanish, mestizo, Mexican, and later Anglo-American. The modern cities of El Paso and Juárez owe their existence in no small part to this structure, a dusty stone relic of conversion and community, of conquest and continuity.

In recent decades, the church has stood not just as a historical monument, but as a living parish. Locals still attend mass there. Tourists walk its courtyard. In its shade, people pray, sell rosaries, and feed pigeons. It has become something larger than itself—no longer a tool of colonial power, but a symbol of the endurance of the people who have called this borderland home for centuries.

If you visit, don’t just admire the architecture. Sit inside for a while. Notice the cool silence, the flicker of votive candles, the scent of stone and wax. Think about the footsteps—Spanish friars, Manso elders, Mexican revolutionaries, Chihuahuan mothers—who have passed through this chapel over the last 360 years. And know that in this place, history is not in books or plaques, but in walls that still hold prayers.


Aduana Fronteriza


We walked by the old Aduana Fronteriza, the Customs House in Juárez, now a museum of polished tile and timeworn memory. It’s easy to pass it by if you don’t know the story. The sidewalk hums with life—vendors and strollers, street music echoing from some distant speaker—but history doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it just waits.

In 1909, this was the most important building in Mexico—if only for a day. Because on that day, President William Howard Taft crossed the border from El Paso and met President Porfirio Díaz inside. It was the first time a sitting U.S. president set foot on foreign soil. They shook hands in a display of neighborly friendship, though the handshake was more theater than treaty.

Taft was all bulk and mustache, built like a man who never left a dinner unfinished. Díaz, in contrast, was lean and calculating—aging, yes, but still the iron-fisted ruler of Mexico. He wore his uniform like a second skin, more military than civilian. He had ruled for over thirty years and knew how to wear power as if it were a tailored coat.

Security was fanatical. Thousands of troops lined both cities. Texas Rangers, U.S. Secret Service, Mexican rurales—everyone with a badge or a gun had been summoned. They cleared rooftops and swept the streets. One man, an anarchist with a pistol hidden in flowers, was arrested before he could get close. The idea that a handshake might change history was apparently worth killing for.

Inside the Customs House, they sat in gilded chairs, beneath painted ceilings that still linger above visitors today. Photographers hovered. Translators leaned in. They spoke of peace and commerce, of friendship and trade. Taft praised Díaz’s vision for a modern Mexico. Díaz, ever the politician, gave the expected nod to U.S. investment and order. But it was all prelude, really. Within a year, revolution would erupt. The man who ruled Mexico for a generation would flee into exile. The Customs House would become a relic.

I think about that now—the fragility of it. Two men met here as symbols of strength, but neither would hold onto it. Taft would lose his reelection in a squabble of egos and progressivism. Díaz would be chased out by the very modernity he tried to orchestrate. And yet, the building stands. Not as a monument to power, but to the pageantry of diplomacy. A stage, not a fortress.

As I stood outside, I tried to imagine it all—the heat of the day, the polished boots, the desert wind rustling papers on the table. The photograph of the two men still hangs inside. It’s formal, posed, almost artificial. But history often is, until it isn’t.

The Customs House doesn’t demand reverence. It offers remembrance. You pass by, and if you're paying attention, you hear the whisper: We met once, here, in peace. Then the world changed.

I kept walking, but I carried that with me.



La Fiesta


It felt like stepping into a dream that hadn’t realized it had ended.

La Fiesta, glittering under restored lights, isn't just a nightclub—it’s a ghost made visible again. Once sealed up behind shuttered windows and fading memories, it's been revived like an old film reel spliced back together: a golden era captured in color. As we walked through its doors, it didn’t feel like entering a place—it felt like entering a time.

The dance floor still shines underfoot, polished enough to catch the glint of your own nostalgia. Overhead, the grand Aztec calendar gleams like a timepiece made for gods, watching over the revelry below. And those frescos—impossible blues and reds, warriors and deities locked in eternal choreography—remind you this is Mexico’s house, and history is always part of the decor.

But La Fiesta was never just about the decor. During its heyday—from the 1940s through the 1960s—it was the place. Stars didn’t just perform here, they mingled, drank, danced. It was the kind of venue where you might see Cantinflas laughing with Dolores del Río, or glimpse Ava Gardner wrapped in a cloud of cigarette smoke near the back bar. Nat King Cole performed here. So did Tin-Tan, the beloved pachuco comedian and singer whose very identity blurred the border itself. José Alfredo Jiménez, Mexico’s great troubadour of heartbreak and tequila-soaked rancheras, is said to have once serenaded a weeping crowd from that very stage.


And the people who came? Everyone and no one. Politicians, matinee idols, bullfighters, and businessmen, yes—but also dock workers, teachers, GI’s on weekend leave, and secretaries from El Paso dressed in their best heels. La Fiesta, like the best nightclubs, was democratic after dark. It had velvet ropes, but no velvet hearts. If you had rhythm or romance in your bones, the door would open.


Couples would come to celebrate anniversaries; teenagers snuck in with forged IDs and dreams. There were rumors of CIA agents and cartel liaisons rubbing shoulders unknowingly in the smoky haze, but the real stories belonged to the musicians. The house band was tight. The boleros were slow. The mariachis took requests. And everyone danced—slow, close, swaying like reeds in a river. You didn’t have to be rich, just in love or in search of it.

La Fiesta survived longer than most. Its decline wasn’t a crash—it was a dimming. As the violence of the 1990s and 2000s crept in, nightlife dimmed all over Juárez. Tourists stopped coming. Residents stayed in. The club closed. The music fell silent.

But now, like a phoenix in sequins, it’s returned.

Restored, but not reinvented. A tribute to itself. You walk in and you can still smell the ghost of cologne and gin. The mirrors still flirt back. The band still plays. And for a moment, it doesn’t feel like nostalgia—it feels like resurrection.




La Fiesta doesn’t just remember history. It performs it. And if you’re lucky enough to step inside, wear your best shoes. This floor remembers how to dance.


Estacionamiento Publico

 


We walked by as we wandered downtown, drawn not by destination but by the quiet rhythm of the city itself. There, tucked beside a cracked sidewalk and a low-slung lot marked Estacionamiento Público, was something worth stopping for. The lot was nearly empty—just a few sunbaked cars and a vendor pushing sodas in a plastic cooler—but the wall beside it shouted with color and purpose.

A mural, raw and defiant, sprawled across the cinderblock: a luchadora mid-leap, arms flung wide, her boots barely touching the ropes. Her mask—a burst of violet and gold—clung to her face like a second skin, equal parts protection and identity. Around her, other masked women moved in frozen choreography: some grappling, others flying, each rendered with the kind of reverence usually reserved for saints. These were not decorations. They were declarations.

I had grown up with lucha libre in the periphery—bits of it bleeding into Saturday morning cartoons or the occasional bootleg DVD. But always the men. El Santo, Blue Demon, Mil Máscaras. The women, if mentioned at all, were footnotes. And yet, here in Juárez, they loomed larger than life. I later learned why.

Lucha libre in Ciudad Juárez has deep roots, stretching back to the mid-20th century. The city’s proximity to the U.S. border made it an essential stop on the lucha circuit. By the 1950s and 60s, Arena Coliseo Juárez was regularly packed with spectators eager to see their heroes—masked, muscled, and mythic—battle under the lights. But it was more than sport. For working-class families, lucha was catharsis. The técnicos (heroes) stood for justice; the rudos (villains) for chaos. Crowds cheered, jeered, threw popcorn, lived vicariously through the chaos of the ring.

Women had to claw their way into this world—sometimes literally. Though women had been wrestling in Mexico since the 1930s, they were banned outright from performing in Mexico City from 1955 to 1986. While the capital locked its gates, border towns like Juárez became rare sanctuaries. Here, women could step into the ring. They could train. They could headline. For many, Juárez was not just a stop—it was a proving ground.

One of the first women to make her mark was Irma González, who helped pioneer the sport for women despite intense social and institutional resistance. Others followed. During the 1980s and 90s, women’s matches in Juárez were often the most anticipated events of the night. Stars like La Sirenita, La Briosa, and later Lady Apache would electrify crowds. In Juárez, they were not novelties—they were contenders.

And then there’s the role Juárez played in developing exóticos—wrestlers who performed in drag, often queer-coded or openly queer—which added another layer of defiance to the sport. The city, often unfairly flattened in the press into a headline about violence, has always had a more complicated story. The lucha rings here became places where identity, gender, and power collided. Literally.

The mural we passed might have been painted last year or ten years ago—no date, no artist signature, just the raw immediacy of bodies in motion. But its meaning was timeless. It honored not only the luchadoras of the past, but the women training in backyards and gyms across the city right now. Women like Sexy Violeta and La Hija del Vikingo, newer faces still fighting to be seen.

As we walked on, I couldn’t help but think about what it meant to wear a mask. In the world outside the ring, a mask often hides. But in lucha, the mask reveals something truer—a mythic self, a persona that can leap higher, strike harder, stand taller. The luchadora on that wall wasn’t hiding. She was ascending.

And maybe that’s what Juárez is too—so often misunderstood, flattened, masked by its own headlines. But underneath, it's a city in motion. A city of fighters. Of women who climbed into the ring and said, I will not be forgotten.

The parking lot faded behind us, but the mural stayed. Not in sight, but in spirit. And if you listen closely in the alleyways and old arenas of Juárez, you can still hear it—that low roar of the crowd, rising into something almost holy.


Tin Tan: Juárez’s Pachuco Prince

The Story of Tin Tan: Juárez’s Pachuco Prince

Before there was Cantinflas, there was Germán Valdés—better known to the world and to the streets of Juárez as Tin Tan. Born in Mexico City in 1915 but raised in Ciudad Juárez, Valdés would go on to become one of the most beloved, subversive, and flamboyant entertainers in Mexican history. His legacy is inseparable from the border town that raised him, a place where English and Spanish mingled like dust and neon, and where a zoot suit could say more about politics than a speech ever could.

Tin Tan's family moved to Juárez when he was young, and it was there, across from El Paso and just inside a Mexico always on the edge of change, that he first found his voice—literally. Working as a radio announcer for XEJ, the first station in Juárez, he charmed listeners with his smooth patter and comedic timing. He invented a character: part Mexican street philosopher, part American swingster, and all Pachuco. This alter ego would launch him to stardom.



In the 1940s and 50s, Mexico's Época de Oro—the Golden Age of Cinema—needed a new kind of star. Tin Tan wasn’t the clean-cut hero or the tragic ranchera balladeer. He was the border embodied: fast-talking, bilingual, irreverent, street-smart, and just sentimental enough. He swaggered across the screen in his oversized suits, repping a culture often looked down on by elites: the Pachucos, Mexican-American youth in zoot suits who danced swing and spoke in a Spanglish known as Caló.

Whereas some saw Pachucos as gangsters or delinquents, Tin Tan saw poetry. He gave dignity and delight to the hybrid identity of border folk. His humor was clever, never cruel. He made the Pachuco suave, tender-hearted, and fiercely proud.

Juárez’s Son, Mexico’s Star

Although he would film in studios across Mexico, Tin Tan never forgot Juárez. He once said, “Juárez taught me everything I know—how to talk, how to laugh, how to hustle.” For many residents, especially those who grew up straddling both sides of the Río Bravo/Grande, Tin Tan was a mirror. He proved that one could belong to two worlds without apology. That bicultural identity wasn't a liability; it was a superpower.

Even today, Juárez honors him. Murals of Tin Tan, hair slicked back, tie flying, and tongue-in-cheek smirk, decorate buildings across the city. He is both a folk hero and a reminder of Juárez’s cultural vitality, especially in decades when others only saw violence or poverty.


More Than a Clown

But Tin Tan was more than just a funny man. He was a gifted improviser, singer, and satirist. He challenged social norms with jokes that punched up, not down. He paved the way for Chicano culture to be celebrated rather than erased. He also gave voices to those living in the margins: the immigrant, the pocho, the underdog.

He appeared in over 100 films, dubbed the voice of Baloo the Bear in the Mexican release of The Jungle Book, and recorded albums blending tropical rhythms with cheeky lyrics. He died in 1973, but his legacy remains stitched into the border's soul.

Top Films of Tin Tan (A Borderline Essential Viewing List):

  1. Calabacitas tiernas (Tender Pumpkins) – 1949
    A hilarious backstage comedy that showcases Tin Tan’s physical humor and zoot suit swagger.

  2. El rey del barrio (King of the Neighborhood) – 1950
    Perhaps his most beloved role—playing a Robin Hood-style crook with heart and a flair for the absurd.

  3. El revoltoso (The Troublemaker) – 1951
    A satire on class and poverty, where Tin Tan’s antics highlight the absurdities of social inequality.

  4. Simbad el mareado (Sinbad the Seasick) – 1950
    A nautical parody that lets him riff on adventure tales with his trademark blend of nonsense and charm.

  5. Las aventuras de Pito Pérez – 1957
    A more philosophical and darker comedy, based on the classic Mexican novel by José Rubén Romero.

  6. El bello durmiente (The Sleeping Beauty) – 1952
    A surreal comedy that blends dream, fantasy, and slapstick, proving his range beyond urban tales.

  7. Tin Tan y las modelos – 1960
    A satire on the fashion industry with musical numbers and a Pachuco twist.

  8. Chanoc – 1967
    A cult classic where Tin Tan plays a supporting but memorable comedic role, showcasing his longevity.

Tin Tan never needed subtitles. He translated the messy, beautiful language of border life into song, laughter, and rebellion. And for Juárez, he remains a patron saint—not of saints and altars, but of rhythm, wit, and resilience.