Monday, November 10, 2025

Triple Self-Portrait (Tee Dee Sea) (1998)

When I first encountered Richard Maury’s Triple Self-Portrait, I was struck by its stillness. The room around the painting seemed to recede, as if sound itself had been absorbed into the canvas. Maury sits before a mirror, brush poised, his eyes steady but uncertain. Behind and beside him, two more reflections echo his form,  each slightly altered, each a distortion of the one before it. The painting captures a moment of self-confrontation, an artist trying to see himself with impossible clarity.

Unlike Norman Rockwell’s playful Triple Self-Portrait, where humor and self-parody animate the scene, Maury’s version is hushed, almost monastic. His reflections are not caricatures of ego but meditations on being. They reveal a man engaged in the slow work of constructing himself, stroke by stroke, layer by layer.

I return often to that image because it mirrors something I feel every day in the classroom. Every now and again, one of my students tells me I’m a good teacher. I never quite know what to do with that statement. I appreciate it, deeply, but it doesn’t fit comfortably. The self they see and the one I experience don’t align. They see authority, guidance, structure. I see a man improvising, listening, adjusting, and often wondering if he’s doing enough.

Maury’s painting helps me understand that discomfort. It’s a portrait of discrepancy, of the space between image and self-image. Each reflection offers a partial truth. In the mirror closest to him, Maury appears most concrete, most himself. Yet in the subsequent reflections, he grows fainter, his features blurring into abstraction. The further the mirror extends, the less certain the self becomes.

So it is with teaching. There’s the self the students see, the one administrators observe, the one colleagues know, and then the private self who sits at the end of the day wondering if he’s done right by anyone at all. Each is true, and yet none is the whole. William James once wrote that “a man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him and carry an image of him in their mind.” The classroom is filled with mirrors, each one holding a slightly different reflection of who I am.

And yet, these reflections are not distortions to be feared; they are instruments of becoming. The self is not a single, static truth but an accumulation of relationships. It is what Martin Buber might call an I–Thou encounter. Each moment of genuine connection draws us closer to coherence. Maury’s multiple selves do not cancel one another out; they build a composite, a more complete image of being.

Last week, I sat with a student who had simply broken. She entered quietly, eyes hollow, body tense, then just wept. When she finally spoke, her words came out in fragments. Words of rejection, isolation, the longing to belong. The person she’d trusted most had walked away, and she was left sitting alone again. Her tears did the speaking her language couldn’t manage.

I didn’t have answers. I didn’t try to fix anything. I just sat beside her in silence, both of us suspended in that fragile, unguarded space. That moment was a mirror too. It was one that reflected not my professional role but my shared humanity. In her, I saw my own need to be seen, my own longing for connection. Teaching, in that instant, wasn’t about instruction; it was about presence.

Carl Rogers would have called this openness to experience. Thst is, the ability to enter another’s emotional world without judgment. He wrote that “the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” The paradox applies to teaching as well: the more we release the need to perform the role of “teacher,” the more authentic and transformative our presence becomes.

Maury’s self-portrait embodies that same paradox. His gaze is searching but unguarded. He offers himself to the act of seeing, knowing that each reflection reveals and conceals in equal measure. The mirrors do not flatter; they tell the truth as light dictates it. There is a humility in that. There is a willingness to confront one’s incompleteness.

D.W. Winnicott called such spaces of encounter “transitional,” neither fully internal nor external. They are places where meaning is created in the act of shared imagination. The classroom, like Maury’s studio, is a transitional space. Each day begins as a blank canvas, a negotiation between selves. The teacher’s image refracts through thirty pairs of eyes, each one altering the light. What emerges is not control but communion. What emerges is a collective or co-construction of reality.

The philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty reminds us that “the self is not a thing, but a movement toward coherence.” I think of that when I watch my students piece themselves together through stories, laughter, and sometimes tears. They are learning to see who they might become, just as I am learning, continually, to see who I am. The classroom becomes a hall of mirrors: every interaction another reflection of becoming, every reflection another lesson in empathy.

When I look again at Maury’s painting, I notice something subtle. Though the mirrors multiply him, the light remains constant. It threads through every reflection, uniting them. Perhaps that light is what holds us together, too. Perhaps, it is the shared awareness that passes silently between people, a recognition that even our fractured selves can still illuminate one another.

I am not, and may never feel like, a “good teacher.” But maybe that isn’t the point. Maybe the task is not to perfect the image but to stay present in front of the mirror and to look, to listen, to keep revising. Maury’s Triple Self-Portrait reminds me that identity is a practice, not a possession. Each day, like each brushstroke, brings me a little closer to coherence.

In the end, I think of Maury sitting there, brush in hand, facing his reflection with both doubt and devotion. He knows he’ll never capture himself completely, yet he paints. That, I realize, is what I do too. Every conversation, every moment of stillness, every time I sit with a student in silence, it is all part of the portrait.

And maybe, as the light changes and the mirrors multiply, that might just be good enough.

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Girl with a Newspaper (c. 1940s)

Today at the Nelson-Atkins, I found myself stopped by a painting that, at first glance, might have seemed easy to overlook. Amid galleries filled with bold color, confident abstraction, and polished modern surfaces, Isabel Bishop’s Girl with a Newspaper seemed to whisper rather than shout. Its palette was subdued — ochres, soft grays, worn browns, and that almost-vanished red at the girl’s shoulders — as if the color itself were an echo. Yet that restraint gave it strength. It stood apart precisely because it was quiet. The painting seemed to ask for patience, for a kind of slow attention.

The image is deceptively simple: a young woman stands reading a newspaper. But the more I looked, the more it deepened. The light pooled around her, soft and almost sacred, illuminating her in a way that made the act of reading feel reverent. She was not posed or performing. She was thinking. She was fully absorbed in the world beyond the frame. And there, in her concentration, I sensed a subtle power.

Painted in the 1940s, this woman exists at a hinge in history. The war had redrawn what women could be. They worked, they read, they managed, they made. The news she holds could be of battles or politics or the shifting shape of the postwar world, but more than that, it represents her entry into it. She reads not to escape her life but to inhabit it. When I look at her, I see not only her moment but what lies ahead. I see the 1950s return to domesticity, the 1960s awakening, the 1970s transformation. She seems poised at the threshold of change, and she knows it.

When I came home, I couldn’t let her go. I wanted to know more about the artist who painted her, this Isabel Bishop whose name, until today, I had never spoken aloud. So I began to read.

Bishop (1902–1988) lived and worked in New York City, painting mostly from her studio near Union Square. She was part of what came to be known as the Fourteenth Street School, a loose circle of realist artists who chronicled the life of ordinary people in the city. But where her male contemporaries often depicted crowds and laborers, Bishop turned her attention to the women of the streets and offices: shopgirls, typists, commuters, secretaries. She painted them in transit. She painted them walking, talking, reading, thinking. She captured them not as idealized figures but as people becoming themselves.

As I looked through her works this afternoon, I began to see a thread running through them all. Young Woman Reading, Lunch Counter, Two Girls, Tidying Up, Under the El, each one reveals a world of quiet introspection. Her women inhabit the public spaces of modernity but carry within them the calm gravity of private thought. They are often shown mid-motion or mid-thought, suggesting a continuous life beyond the frame. Bishop’s brushwork, loose and luminous, conveys both solidity and transience. They convey both flesh and spirit meeting in a moment of reflection.

There’s a tenderness in how she sees her subjects, a kind of ethical attention. She once said that what drew her was “the movement of people, the dignity of their ordinary behavior.” That word — dignity — feels central. In a century that often rendered women as symbols or spectacles, Bishop painted them as subjects with inner lives. She gave to them what had long been reserved for saints, scholars, and heroes: the right to thought, to presence, to being fully seen.

As I sat reading about her, I realized how rare these discoveries are, how one small painting can open a door into an entire life’s work. That’s what museums do for me. They take my time but return it multiplied. Each visit begins in the act of looking but ends, always, in reflection. I leave with more questions than answers, but they are good questions. The kind that linger. The kind that work on you long after you’ve gone home.

The hours that follow, the quiet “after” of a museum day, have become my favorite part of the experience. That’s where the real growth happens: in the chewing and wrestling, in tracing the lines between what you saw and what you now understand. A painting like Girl with a Newspaper becomes less an object than a conversation, a mirror for the mind.

Time spent with art is never wasted. It slows us down, asks us to notice, to think, to feel, to change. Bishop’s girl, standing there with her paper, still reading, reminds me that reflection itself is an act of participation. An act of being alive to one’s moment in history. And today, in my own small way, I joined her in that act.

Trader Joe's

Rozzelle Court Restaurant

The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art

Titanic: An Immersive Voyage

Saturday, November 8, 2025

What Lies Within Us (2021)

The Threshold of Light

When I first encountered Mark Maggiori’s What Lies Within Us, I felt the familiar stillness that accompanies revelation. Two riders, cloaked in white, ascend a path through a forest of golden aspens. The air glows with that transient brilliance of late autumn, the brief season when light feels like a final benediction. Above them, the sky opens into a deep ultramarine, a blue so saturated it hums with stillness. Nothing moves. Yet the scene breathes with expectancy, as though the riders are about to cross an invisible boundary, one not merely of geography, but of being.

At first glance, the painting seems to belong to the romantic lineage of the American West. To Bierstadt’s glowing valleys or Moran’s illuminated horizons. But Maggiori’s work turns inward. His West is not an untouched Eden or a landscape of conquest; it is a spiritual topography. The title itself, What Lies Within Us, carries an unmistakable Emersonian echo: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Though the exact phrasing is a later distillation, the sentiment belongs wholly to Emerson’s vision of the soul as divine mirror. In The Over-Soul, he wrote, “The soul becomes; for that forever and ever is the only real being.” This inward becoming—this recognition of an immanent sacredness—animates Maggiori’s light. The glow is not celestial, but internal; the forest is radiant because it reflects the luminosity of the riders’ own awakening.

Each aspen stands like a column in a natural cathedral, its leaves catching the light in a shimmer that feels almost sentient. The riders, diminished in scale yet elevated in purpose, enter this sanctum as pilgrims rather than conquerors. Their movement toward the light mirrors Emerson’s assertion that illumination does not descend from above but rises from within: “The light of the soul burns through the garment of the body.” Maggiori’s forest is that light externalized. It is a landscape made conscious.

The imagery stirs associations with another forest, one far older and darker: the woodland of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. In the medieval poem, the forest represents both temptation and transformation. Gawain rides out from Arthur’s hall adorned in armor and idealism, but it is the wilderness that unmasks him. The poet writes, “Many cliffs he climbed in that country wild, / often vanquished by venomous worms.” His outward struggle mirrors an inward descent. It mirrors the soul wrestling with its own shadow. The forest is not a setting but a moral crucible.

Maggiori’s grove, by contrast, glows with gold rather than green, light rather than shadow. Yet both forests are threshold. Bith are a liminal space where the self is stripped bare before the unknown. The riders’ white garments suggest purity, but also humility, the quiet resolve of those who understand that enlightenment cannot be seized; it must be entered. They are archetypal figures, pilgrims on the verge of initiation, moving toward illumination that is both physical and metaphysical.

Lowery’s 2021 The Green Knight brings this archetype into the modern psyche. There, the forest is labyrinthine, oppressive, and green with menace. Its vines entangle, its mists distort. Yet it serves the same symbolic purpose: the testing of self through confrontation with mortality. “Are you real or are you a spirit?” Gawain asks, uncertain of where the material ends and the spiritual begins. The question reverberates across centuries and media, answered only in the silence of Maggiori’s aspens.

There is something profoundly American about this reimagining of the quest. The Western landscape, once a theater of manifest destiny, becomes here an interior pilgrimage. Thoreau once wrote, “In wildness is the preservation of the world.” Maggiori extends that wisdom: in wildness is the preservation of the soul. His riders, small within the grandeur of creation, embody the humility that precedes understanding.

As I linger on the painting, I think of Jung’s observation that, “The forest is a symbol of the unconscious; the place where hidden forces dwell.” To enter it is to risk transformation. The riders, poised between shadow and illumination, enact that risk. Their path disappears into radiance, not as an ending but as an invitation. The light ahead may be divine, or merely the reflection of what already burns within them. Either way, they ride toward it willingly.

The Echo of the Green Knight

The forest has always been the theater of the soul’s testing. In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the woods are not simply the setting for adventure, but the medium through which truth is revealed. When the poem opens, the Christmas revelry at Arthur’s court is a tableau of order: knighthood, chivalry, and divine right embodied in ritual. But the arrival of the Green Knight fractures that order. Entering on horseback, clad in living green, he brings with him the wild law of nature, ungoverned by human pride. His challenge—to exchange blows, one now and one a year hence—initiates the poem’s moral and psychological arc. It is a game designed to expose hypocrisy, for Gawain’s acceptance of the beheading game is less about courage than vanity. He acts to preserve his honor, not his integrity.

The poem’s anonymous author, likely a contemporary of Pearl and Patience, constructs this ordeal as an allegory of virtue under duress. The Green Knight is both tempter and redeemer. He is an avatar of nature’s unrelenting honesty. To strike him down is to attempt to master what cannot be mastered: the cycle of life and death, decay and renewal. When Gawain’s sword falls and the Knight simply picks up his severed head, laughing, the poem announces its theme: mortality is not conquered by valor, but understood through humility.

Lowery’s 2021 adaptation captures this paradox with unsettling intimacy. His Green Knight is less an opponent than a mirror, carved from wood and moss, crowned with roots and decay. He is the embodiment of time itself: unchanging, patient, inevitable. The forest in Lowery’s film is a psychological labyrinth, a visual descent into Gawain’s fractured identity. The camera lingers on mist, shadow, and stillness, blurring the line between dream and penance. “Do you believe in magic?” one of Gawain’s companions asks early on. By the film’s end, magic has become indistinguishable from consciousness itself. Every encounter—a ghost, a bandit, a vision of his own decay—forces Gawain to confront the fragility of his constructed self.

In Jungian terms, Gawain’s journey is an archetypal night sea voyage, a descent into the unconscious where the ego confronts its shadow. Jung observed that “The hero’s main feat is to overcome the monster of darkness: it is the long-hoped-for and expected triumph of consciousness over the unconscious.” Yet in The Green Knight, triumph comes not through domination but through surrender. When Gawain finally kneels before the Knight, removing his protective belt, he relinquishes illusion. His submission is not defeat; it is self-knowledge. He whispers, “I am ready,” and for the first time, he is.

The forest in both the poem and the film thus becomes the landscape of individuation. It is where the self dissolves in order to reform. Gawain’s armor, which once gleamed with the five-pointed star of perfect virtue, grows tarnished. By the time he reaches the Green Chapel, he is stripped bare. The scene echoes the initiation rites of the ancient world, where the initiate must face symbolic death to be reborn into wisdom. In this light, the Green Knight’s axe is less an instrument of violence than one of transformation. Its edge the dividing line between ignorance and awareness.

This same logic resonates within Maggiori’s What Lies Within Us. His forest is not menacing but luminous; yet it, too, demands passage. The riders’ white robes could be the garb of penitents who have endured their own trial by shadow. Their upward movement through light mirrors Gawain’s final gesture: the courage to face what lies within. In both works, the journey is circular, returning the traveler not to conquest but to clarity.

Lowery’s adaptation closes on a note of profound ambiguity, the sound of an axe descending, the screen fading to black. The medieval poem ends differently, with Gawain spared and chastened, returning to Camelot in shame yet redeemed through honesty. But in either version, the lesson is the same: virtue is not the absence of failure, but the capacity to confront it. The echo that lingers is not the swing of the axe, but the silence afterward. The very stillness of the moment when a person finally ceases to resist truth.

In Maggiori’s painting, that silence becomes visible. The forest glows with the same grace that fills the chapel in Gawain’s final scene. The riders, like Gawain, are poised at the edge of revelation. They do not yet know what awaits them, but they proceed nonetheless. The echo of the Green Knight resounds here not as a threat, but as an invitation to face what lies within us without flinching.

The Five Points of the Knight

When Gawain rides forth from Camelot to seek the Green Knight, he carries upon his shield a golden star—the pentangle, or five-pointed knot—symbolizing the five virtues of a perfect knight: generosity, fellowship, chastity, courtesy, and piety. The poet writes that it is “a token of truth, by title that it bears, / For it is a figure that holds five points.” The unbroken line of the pentangle stands for wholeness, each virtue bound to the others in an unending circuit of moral harmony. Yet the poem itself is a record of that harmony unraveling. The five points are not static ideals but living tests; each is broken, re-forged, and reinterpreted through trial.

Lowery’s The Green Knight transforms those ideals into psychological thresholds. In his version, chivalry is not the measure of a man’s perfection but the veil through which he must see his imperfection. Likewise, Maggiori’s painting—its two white-robed riders ascending into the golden forest—seems to depict the aftermath of that process: the quiet wholeness that follows self-reckoning. What Gawain learns through failure, these pilgrims appear to embody through grace.

1. Generosity (Liberality)

In the medieval world, generosity represented the outward expression of inner virtue. To give freely was to imitate divine abundance. In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, this virtue falters when Gawain accepts the green girdle and conceals it from his host. The act is small, almost trivial, yet it fractures his integrity. He gives gifts publicly but hoards privately, revealing the gulf between reputation and reality.

Lowery’s film magnifies this dissonance. Gawain’s generosity is performative. It is a performance of virtue rather than its embodiment. He seeks recognition, not righteousness. His acts of kindness are exchanges, each haunted by self-interest. The film’s austere tone strips generosity of its social glamour and reveals its spiritual root: sacrifice.

In Maggiori’s What Lies Within Us, generosity has evolved into a subtler form. The two riders share not possessions but pilgrimage. Their generosity is in companionship, the willingness to walk alongside another soul toward light. They give themselves to the landscape and, symbolically, to one another’s silence. The West, so often mythologized through conquest, becomes here a place of surrender.

2. Fellowship (Brotherhood)

In the poem, Gawain’s fellowship is with Arthur’s court. A bond of loyalty that defines his identity. Yet when he rides alone, that bond evaporates. His isolation exposes the fragility of a virtue dependent on social approval. Fellowship becomes meaningless in solitude.

Lowery’s Gawain experiences the same estrangement. He meets strangers who exploit or confuse him, and the forest itself becomes a kind of anti-community. Every human connection disintegrates into ambiguity. The film suggests that true fellowship begins only when the illusion of external validation collapses.

Maggiori’s painting offers a redemptive vision. The riders travel together, their forms nearly merging in the golden light. They are equals, neither leader nor follower. Fellowship here is not institutional but spiritual. It is the companionship of two souls moving in harmony toward understanding. In psychological terms, it symbolizes the reconciliation of opposites within the self, the integration of reason and intuition, shadow and light.

3. Chastity (Purity)

For the medieval poet, chastity signified moral and spiritual discipline, not merely sexual restraint. Gawain’s chastity is tested in Lady Bertilak’s chambers, where his virtue falters beneath the seduction of flattery and fear. His failure is not lust but deceit in his inability to remain whole in the face of temptation.

Lowery renders this scene with aching ambiguity. The film’s Gawain, trembling between desire and duty, reveals the human cost of repression. His chastity becomes a mirror of hypocrisy, exposing the fragility of virtue built on denial rather than understanding.

In Maggiori’s work, chastity transforms into purity of intention. The white robes of the riders evoke monastic simplicity. There is no tension, no spectacle of restraint. Their purity is not defensive but radiant. It is a state of alignment between outer action and inner truth. In their silence, chastity becomes authenticity: the undivided self walking toward light.

4. Courtesy (Compassion)

Courtesy, in the chivalric code, was the grace of conduct, the ability to honor others with humility and kindness. In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, courtesy often masks pride; it becomes a ritual of appearances rather than a habit of the heart.

Lowery strips courtesy of its ornament. His Gawain moves through a world where politeness has no currency, where only compassion remains meaningful. His kindness to Saint Winifred’s ghost—a rare act without motive—becomes his most genuinely noble moment.

In Maggiori’s painting, courtesy expands beyond human society. The riders’ gentle movement through the aspen grove models compassion toward the world itself. Their courtesy is ecological, an awareness of belonging rather than dominion. The golden forest receives them as participants in, not masters of, its order.

5. Piety (Faith)

The fifth virtue, piety, is the spiritual foundation of all others. Gawain’s piety is sincere yet incomplete, rooted in fear rather than trust. His prayers in the poem are often transactional appeals for safety, not communion.

Lowery’s adaptation reinterprets faith as surrender. When Gawain finally kneels before the Green Knight, he relinquishes not his life but his illusion of control. “Now, little knight, off with your head,” the Green Knight says tenderly, as if offering absolution. In that moment, faith becomes acceptance.

Maggiori’s painting closes the circle. The riders, ascending into light, embody faith without dogma. There are no altars, no priests, no miracles. There is only the quiet conviction that the path itself is sacred. Their ascent suggests what Emerson called “the infinitude of the private man,” the faith that the divine is not external but immanent.

Together, these five virtues form an evolving geometry of the soul. In the poem, they are ideals fractured by human frailty; in the film, they become moral tests; in Maggiori’s painting, they resolve into harmony. The riders’ white garments gleam like the pentangle’s golden lines, unbroken at last. The virtues no longer radiate outward as performance, but inward as illumination. They are what truly lies within us.

The Forest as Soul

The forest has always been more than a place, it is the architecture of the inner world. In myth and art alike, it stands as the threshold where the rational dissolves into the mysterious. In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the forest into which Gawain rides is described as “a wilderness wild, where few had walked.” This wilderness is moral as well as physical: it is where certainty fails, where the map ends. To enter the forest is to accept disorientation as initiation.

In Jungian psychology, the forest corresponds to the unconscious. The forest is the domain of what is hidden, repressed, or forgotten. Jung wrote that “the forest is a symbol of the unconscious; the place where hidden forces dwell.” It is both danger and sanctuary, both chaos and creation. When Gawain ventures into its depths, he encounters more than beasts and bandits; he meets his own shadow. His armor and ideals, once emblems of order, become burdens. The further he rides, the heavier they feel, until his chivalric identity itself becomes the obstacle he must shed. His passage through the green wood thus mirrors the first alchemical phase, the nigredo: the darkening, the dissolution of form that precedes transformation.

David Lowery captures this descent with unflinching symbolism. In his film, the forest consumes light. Its palette of muted greens and earthen browns evokes the womb-like darkness of the psyche before rebirth. Gawain’s journey becomes cyclical, dreamlike; time folds upon itself, suggesting the recursive nature of self-examination. The Green Knight—half human, half tree—awaits him as the ultimate integration of opposites: nature and man, life and death, body and spirit. When Gawain kneels before him, it is not a gesture of defeat but of individuation. It is the acceptance of his mortality and, through it, his humanity.

If Gawain’s forest embodies the nigredo, Maggiori’s What Lies Within Us reveals the later alchemical stages: the albedo and rubedo, purification and illumination. His forest glows not with menace but with transcendence. The aspens shimmer in gold, as if touched by fire, their trunks pale and pure like candles in a sacred hall. The riders’ ascent is not into darkness but through light, a reversal of Gawain’s descent. Yet the psychological motion is the same: movement through the self toward unity. The difference lies in awareness. Gawain rides into the forest to prove himself; Maggiori’s figures enter it to understand themselves.

In the alchemical process, gold symbolizes the perfected soul: the lapis philosophorum, or philosopher’s stone. Jung saw in this symbol the completion of the individuation process: the reconciliation of conscious and unconscious, spirit and matter. Maggiori’s forest, therefore, is not merely autumnal; it is alchemical. The gold of the leaves represents integration, the moment when inner and outer light become one. The riders, cloaked in white—the color of purification—move through this golden light as if emerging from the crucible of experience refined.

The contrast between Gawain’s green forest and Maggiori’s golden one is not opposition but progression. Green, the color of life and flux, belongs to nature’s cycles: growth, decay, rebirth. It is the color of potential. Gold, by contrast, is the color of fulfillment, the final transmutation of experience into wisdom. One cannot reach gold without first enduring green. As Joseph Campbell wrote, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” In Maggiori’s vision, that treasure has been found not as an object, but as serenity.

The forest, in both works, acts as the moral and psychological axis of the world. It absorbs the pilgrim’s fear and returns him to himself. In entering it, one consents to be unmade. Yet this unmaking is not destruction. It is the only path to integration. As Emerson observed, “In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life—no disgrace, no calamity—which nature cannot repair.” Maggiori’s forest embodies that promise. The riders’ ascent through light is an act of trust, a serene acceptance of transformation’s inevitability.

Thus, the forest becomes not the setting of the quest but its destination. It becomes the self in its most expansive form. In Gawain’s green wood, the ego dies. In Maggiori’s golden wood, the soul endures. Both are stages of the same journey, bound by the eternal rhythm of descent and ascent, shadow and illumination, self and soul.

The Light Beyond the Trees

In Maggiori’s What Lies Within Us, the riders climb toward a brilliance that outshines the frame. The golden forest parts to reveal a horizon of pure light, an unpainted space that the viewer’s imagination must complete. That absence is deliberate; it functions as a visual silence, an artistic equivalent to the pause that follows revelation. The riders are almost there, their backs turned to us, already half-absorbed into radiance. Their journey, like Gawain’s, ends not in triumph but in transfiguration.

The Western landscape, long mythologized as the stage of rugged individualism, becomes in Maggiori’s vision an allegory of humility. The riders’ smallness is not a loss of power but the recovery of proportion. They are no longer the measure of the world; the world measures them. In this sense, Maggiori completes the moral arc begun by the Green Knight poet. Where Gawain kneels in repentance, Maggiori’s figures ride in peace. Both gestures are forms of surrender. Both the acceptance of human limitation before the immensity of being.

The light that envelops them recalls Emerson’s notion of the Over-Soul:

“We live in succession, in division, in parts, in particles. Meantime within man is the soul of the whole; the wise silence; the universal beauty.”

This “wise silence” seems to emanate from Maggiori’s forest. It is not the harsh illumination of revelation, but the diffused, merciful light of comprehension. The riders do not seek the divine; they dwell within it. The distinction between seeker and sought dissolves, as if they and the landscape share one breath.

Philosophically, this is the point of integration. It is the alchemical rubedo, the moment when opposites reconcile. Green and gold, trial and peace, death and renewal, they all collapse into unity. The Western horizon, once symbol of endless striving, becomes the emblem of return. As Jung might have phrased it, the self has become transparent to the soul. The journey through the forest—whether of Gawain’s terror or Maggiori’s serenity—was never toward something external, but toward this condition of inward clarity.

There is also a moral serenity to this ending. In the medieval world, Gawain’s confession restored his honor within the codes of knighthood. In Maggiori’s reimagining, redemption has no audience. The riders’ sanctity is quiet, witnessed only by trees and sky. Their virtue lies not in performance but in presence. As the aspens shimmer like hammered gold, their ascent becomes a benediction to the viewer: to live is to travel continually toward light, not to possess it.

Perhaps this is why the painting feels so still. Everything has already happened. The tests have been endured, the virtues broken and remade. What remains is peace. What remains is the simple, steady radiance that follows self-knowledge. Emerson wrote, “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” Maggiori captures that miracle: two riders on an ordinary trail, transfigured by the light of understanding.

As they near the forest’s end, the golden glow seems to dissolve them into the unseen. They are not departing but becoming. The forest—once threshold, now memory—lingers as both path and mirror. In them, we glimpse ourselves: imperfect travelers, moving through seasons of shadow and light, always seeking what lies within us.

Coda

As I reflect on Maggiori’s What Lies Within Us, I do not see the West or the Middle Ages; I see the long road of the self. Every forest, whether painted in gold or filmed in shadow, becomes a mirror. The riders and Gawain, the Green Knight and the aspens, all inhabit the same geography of transformation. They inhabit the inner wilderness where meaning is wrestled from silence.

Art, when it matters, performs this same alchemy. It does not teach by argument but by recognition. In Maggiori’s light I recognize the moment after struggle, that quiet sense of having been changed. In Gawain’s confession I recognize the difficulty of honesty, the humbling of pride. Both lead to the same clearing. Both lead to a space where the noise of striving fades and the self stands stripped of pretense.

Perhaps this is what Emerson meant when he said, “The soul becomes.” The becoming is never finished; it is a movement, a pilgrimage, a practice. To live is to ride toward that horizon again and again, knowing it will always recede. Yet each passage through shadow brings a little more light, each surrender a deeper peace.

The forest remains the ever-present threshold between who we think we are and what we might yet become. And somewhere within it, beneath the trembling leaves of our own unfinished selves, something luminous waits.


Inferno

Used Cars

Happy Caturday

Friday, November 7, 2025

Date Night

Year 19

 


Religious, Not Spiritual: Q&A

Introduction

This series of essays began as an interview, a set of questions about belief, practice, and meaning, but it quickly became something more personal. Each response is a small meditation on what it means to live religious but not spiritual: to value ritual, community, and reverence without appealing to the supernatural. I wrote these reflections not to argue a position, but to describe a way of being. A position grounded in attention, honesty, and care.

I come from a world where faith was a language spoken fluently, where words like salvation and devotion carried the weight of eternity. I still carry that language, though I speak it differently now. These essays are my attempt to translate that inheritance. My way to show that the forms of religion can remain meaningful even when belief changes, or is lost altogether, and that reverence need not vanish with certainty.

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Allegory of the Self (1951)

I’ve never been drawn to Dalí. Too often he feels like a showman—half genius, half circus act—more interested in selling melting clocks than in revealing anything real. But every once in a while, a work surfaces that catches me off guard, one that feels as though the curtain has been drawn back and the man himself, not the myth, peers through. Allegory of the Soul is one of those rare moments.

Here, the gray figure rises like a statue breaking its own mold. Its head splits open, and from the fracture bursts a butterfly: delicate, luminous, fragile. A silkworm still clings to the flesh, reluctant to let go. The metamorphosis is both beautiful and violent. It is not a clean emergence but a cracking open. When I look at it, I don’t see the flamboyant surrealist of pop culture lore; I see a man caught mid-transformation, struggling to become.

Dalí was born the second Salvador. The first died before he was born, and the family told him he was the reincarnation of the lost child. Imagine growing up with that story. Imagine that your life was not your own, that your very name was borrowed from a ghost. It’s hard not to read this painting through that shadow. The butterfly becomes the living Salvador, straining to break free from the husk of the dead one. The silkworm is what remains—the brother, the grief, the weight of inheritance—still feeding on the same body.

Freud might have seen in this image the drama of melancholia: the way the ego incorporates what it cannot release. The dead brother, absorbed into the psyche, becomes part of Dalí’s own selfhood. The art, then, becomes an act of sublimation. A way of transforming that buried sorrow into beauty, turning the raw material of pain into the silk of the butterfly’s wings. Each fragment that flies from the shattering face is a piece of grief made visible.

Jung would tell a slightly different story. For him, this is the battle between persona and shadow, the theater mask and the unspoken truth behind it. Dalí’s public self—the wild mustache, the theatrical poses, the deliberate provocations—was a persona so overwhelming it consumed the man beneath it. Yet this painting feels like an early, unguarded rehearsal. The butterfly is not yet spectacle; it is confession. The worm still holds on, the shadow refusing to be disowned. Individuation, Jung would say, is the reconciliation of these forces. It is the self becoming whole not by denial, but by integration.

In Allegory of the Soul, I see Dalí before the stage lights, before the myth hardened into marketing. Or maybe I see the man himself reflecting mid-fame. The butterfly’s flight is not the promise of transcendence but the cost of it. The act of becoming requires the humility of breaking. To shed the shell that once protected you is to risk dissolving entirely. The worm, clinging to the neck, reminds us that transformation is never total; the past continues to feed even as the future begins to fly.

To live as “the second” must have been unbearable in its own quiet way. You are loved, but through comparison. You exist, but always in reference to absence. There are only two paths from that condition: submission or defiance. Dalí chose defiance. He made himself larger than life. He created an identity so expansive it could absorb the brother’s ghost and the world’s attention all at once. His persona became his survival, his performance his resurrection.

And yet this small work betrays the man who existed before the myth. It reveals the quieter Salvador, the one who painted his sister standing in a window, the one Lorca loved for his sincerity and precision. It is that early self, I think, that speaks here. It is the one still haunted by loss, still uncertain whether art can really free him from the dead boy’s shadow.

What moves me most is the tenderness of it all. The butterfly’s wings carry two red dots, like stigmata, tiny reminders that every birth leaves a wound. The soul does not escape the body; it breaks through it. Dalí, for once, does not seem to be selling an idea but surrendering to one. This is not the Dalí of headlines or self-promotion. This is Dalí as he must have been in the stillness of his studio. When he was alone with the memory of the first Salvador, with the unbearable beauty of survival.

I’ve often dismissed him as a performer. But Allegory of the Soul reminds me that performance itself can be a kind of salvation. When life begins in the shadow of another’s death, perhaps the only way to live is to invent a self so luminous it cannot be mistaken for a ghost. This painting captures that fragile, human moment when the self fractures and from that wound, wings emerge and take flight. 

Roses and Bugs

Gigi

CSB Harmony of the Gospels




Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Roses

November: The Throne of Glass

Theme:

Accepting the limits of one’s own understanding and transforming pride from defense into gratitude.

Quote:

“Pride buildeth a throne of glass, which the mirrour of truth shatters to dust.” 

The Mirrour Which Flatters Not

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Risky Business

Cincinnatus Receiving Deputies of the Senate (1843)

Laborare est Orare — “To Work is to Pray”

In Alexandre Cabanel’s Cincinnatus Receiving Deputies of the Senate (1843), time seems suspended between two worlds: the quiet rhythm of the field and the restless urgency of the state. Beneath a Roman sky, the farmer stands at his plow, sun-worn and unadorned, as a delegation of senators approaches. The oxen pause mid-step; the soil clings to the blade. In that moment, Cabanel captures a moral pivot, the instant when private life meets public duty.

“Art is a moral act,” Cabanel once wrote, “for it gives visible form to the invisible order of the soul.” His canvas is thus not merely an historical reconstruction, but a meditation on virtue itself. The artist’s brush dramatizes the question that has haunted every republic: Can power remain pure? In the gleam of Cincinnatus’s arm and the humility of his gesture, Cabanel paints a visual answer—strength joined with restraint, authority tempered by integrity.

The scene draws from Livy’s account: “When the messengers arrived, they found Cincinnatus plowing his four-acre farm. Clad in the toga of peace, he wiped the sweat from his brow as he listened to the call of Rome.” In this simple act—wiping his hands before receiving power—Rome saw the measure of a man. Dionysius of Halicarnassus would later write, “He was the image of old-fashioned Roman virtue: poor in possessions, rich in honor.” Such words echo through Cabanel’s composition: the rough field becomes an emblem of moral clarity, the senators’ silks a reminder of luxury’s fragility.

Cato the Elder once observed that “the toil of the field purifies man of the arrogance of the city.” Virgil, in his Georgics, praised the farmer as “greatly blessed, if only he knew his good.” For the Romans, the land was not merely livelihood, it was the crucible of character. Labor itself was a form of prayer, laborare est orare, a spiritual discipline through which one learned humility and endurance. Cabanel’s Cincinnatus embodies this sanctity of labor; his body glows not with divine favor but with the honest light of effort.

Yet there is also hesitation in his stance. There is a psychological realism that elevates the work beyond didacticism. He is not eager to rule. “The good ruler is reluctant to rule,” writes Lao Tzu, and in this reluctance lies true virtue. Cincinnatus’s strength is not in conquest, but in his willingness to relinquish power. As Jung later reflected, “A man’s worth is not measured by what he conquers, but by what he is willing to relinquish.”

Cabanel’s painting, then, becomes a mirror for the viewer. It becomes a reminder that leadership is a form of service and that service begins in humility. Cicero declared, “He who wishes to serve his country must be willing to forget himself.” In the same spirit, Cabanel’s brush constructs not only a Roman hero but an ideal of the self-governing citizen, one whose virtue arises from inner discipline rather than outward glory.

Standing before this work today, I am drawn less to the senators than to the soil at Cincinnatus’s feet. The furrowed earth reminds me that the moral foundation of any republic must be tilled by those who labor honestly, who take up duty when called and return to simplicity when the work is done. Plato’s words linger behind the composition: “The measure of a man is what he does with power.”

Through this union of art and philosophy, Cabanel transforms legend into lesson. “Painting is silent poetry,” Simonides wrote, “and poetry is painting that speaks.” Cabanel’s Cincinnatus speaks in the silent language of virtue: a call to remember that the health of the state depends upon the humility of its citizens.

Imperium ex Aratro — Power from the Plow

The legend of Cincinnatus begins not with triumph, but with interruption. According to Livy, “When the messengers of the Senate came to deliver their decree, they found him at the plow, and he bade his wife to fetch his toga before he would listen to their words.” In that small gesture, the act of dressing himself properly before addressing the affairs of the state, lies the moral nucleus of the Roman Republic. Cincinnatus did not reject authority; he prepared himself for it. He did not seize power; he received it as a burden of necessity.

To the Roman imagination, this act fused two worlds: labor and imperium. The man who could guide the furrow could also guide the state. The plow became the instrument of legitimacy, proof that the man who could order the earth could order men. Dionysius of Halicarnassus described him as “the image of ancient virtue, lord of himself before lord of others.” In that phrase—se dominus ante alios dominus—resides the Roman conviction that mastery begins within.

Roman historians never intended the story of Cincinnatus to be pastoral nostalgia. It was moral instruction. The early Republic, emerging from the shadow of monarchy, defined itself by moderation and restraint. Power was not an inheritance but a temporary trust. As Cicero later insisted in De Republica, “The welfare of the people is the supreme law” (Salus populi suprema lex esto), a principle that demanded the powerful act as stewards, not sovereigns.

In psychological terms, Cincinnatus stands as an archetype of what Jung would later call the Servant King: the man who integrates authority with humility. He represents the ego’s reconciliation with the collective: leadership that does not dominate but harmonizes. His willingness to relinquish power after victory, the very act that immortalized him, shows what Seneca called imperium in se ipsum, the rule over oneself. “No man is free who is not master of himself,” Seneca wrote, and Cincinnatus, in abdicating command, embodied that freedom.

The legend also exposes a profound tension at the heart of republican identity: the desire for leadership and the fear of its corruption. Rome had known kings and would never again tolerate one. The office of dictator, granted absolute authority for a limited time, was a civic safeguard, not a crown. Cincinnatus became the moral prototype for that arrangement: the citizen who accepts absolute power only to surrender it voluntarily. In the simplicity of his withdrawal, the Romans found their highest reassurance: that virtue could govern without ambition.

This is what the phrase imperium ex aratro truly signifies: not conquest, but order drawn from the soil. The Roman plow cut more than furrows; it cut boundaries, established the first measure of the Republic’s self-discipline. Livy’s story is therefore not a rustic interlude, but the moral genesis of Roman statecraft. To rule justly, one must begin in humility; to command others, one must have first learned to command oneself.

Cabanel’s painting translates this moral geometry into light and form. The senators’ togas gleam with political authority, but the true radiance falls upon the farmer. The earth beneath his feet becomes both literal ground and ethical foundation. His body, half in shadow, half in sunlight, mirrors the human condition. That eternal struggle to hold power without being possessed by it.

In that moment, as Cincinnatus stands between the plow and the Republic, we witness not the rise of a ruler, but the consecration of service. Imperium ex aratro—power from the plow—remains one of civilization’s oldest reminders that authority, to endure, must grow from the humility of labor.

Rusticus Romanus Sum — I Am a Roman of the Soil

If the myth of Cincinnatus gave Rome its moral hero, the life of the farmer gave it its soul. To be a rusticus Romanus was not a mark of poverty, but of purity. The land, in Roman thought, was both livelihood and liturgy, the field a small republic where order was learned and virtue practiced.

Cato the Elder, in his De Agri Cultura, begins not with methods but with morality. “When you buy land,” he writes, “you buy a way of life.” To till the soil was to participate in the first and most enduring contract between human effort and divine providence. Agriculture was not simply productive labor; it was ethical cultivation. The field trained the mind in patience, temperance, and foresight:  the very virtues the Republic required of its citizens. Cicero later echoed this in De Officiis, declaring, “Of all occupations by which gain is secured, none is better, none more productive, none more worthy of a free man than agriculture.”

Virgil, writing centuries later in the Georgics, turned this agrarian morality into poetry. “O fortunatos nimium, sua si bona norint, agricolas!” — “O greatly blessed are the farmers, if they but knew their good.” The line reads like a benediction, not merely upon those who labor, but upon the condition of simplicity itself. For Virgil, the plow was not a tool of toil alone, but a means of aligning one’s life with nature’s order, of finding harmony between the human and the eternal.

This harmony was central to the Roman concept of virtus, a word whose meaning lies between “virtue,” “strength,” and “manliness.” True virtus was not inherited but earned, through discipline, endurance, and service. The farmer, bound by the seasons, practiced virtus daily: rising early, confronting hardship, laboring not for glory but necessity. His fields were an education in proportion. An education in knowing what was enough.

The Roman agrarian ideal thus joined the philosophical with the psychological. It satisfied what modern psychology might call the archetype of the caretaker: one whose identity is rooted in nurture and stewardship. The soil mirrored the psyche: both must be tended, pruned, and renewed. In this sense, farming was a sacred therapy against excess, a means to maintain equilibrium in a culture ever tempted by expansion and empire. Seneca warned of that danger when he wrote, “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.” The field, with its finite boundaries and daily rhythms, reminded Rome of the wisdom of limits.

Even in the Republic’s later centuries, when wealth flowed from conquest and villas replaced small farms, the image of the humble cultivator persisted as a moral ideal. To the Roman mind, the state itself was an enlarged farm: its citizens the laborers, its magistrates the stewards, its laws the furrows that maintained order. The decay of these virtues — greed, corruption, the abandonment of honest work — was seen as the first sign of a failing republic.

Cabanel’s Cincinnatus stands, then, not as an exception but as the exemplar of this agrarian moral vision. His call to power is the flowering of a long cultural faith: that the man closest to the earth stands closest to truth. The soil clinging to his feet is not dirt but consecration.

To declare Rusticus Romanus sum — I am a Roman of the soil — was to affirm a civic and spiritual identity. It was to say, I belong to the earth that sustains the Republic, and therefore, the Republic belongs to me. It was a declaration of interdependence between labor and liberty.

When I think of this ideal, I see again the moment in Cabanel’s painting where the plow meets the marble of the senators’ sandals. Two civilizations touch there: the world of work and the world of governance. It is a meeting that must forever be renewed if a republic is to endure.

Virtus in Actione Consistit — Virtue Consists in Action

Cicero wrote, “Virtus in actione consistit” — virtue consists in action. It was not enough for the Roman to think nobly; he had to act nobly. For the ancients, ethics was not contemplation but embodiment, and Cincinnatus stood as the living measure of that principle. The legend endured precisely because it was kinetic. It was an image of movement from field to forum, from plow to power, from self to service.

When the Renaissance revived the moral literature of antiquity, Cincinnatus returned as an exemplar of civic humanism. Petrarch, who sought to reconcile the active and contemplative lives, saw in him the perfect fusion of both: the scholar of the soil who answers the call of duty and then returns to the quiet of thought. The Florentines, struggling to balance liberty and order, read Livy’s Ab Urbe Condita not merely as history but as a manual for republics. In Cincinnatus, they found an image of what Niccolò Machiavelli would later call virtù, that blend of strength, prudence, and moral resolve by which a citizen preserves the state without becoming its tyrant.

Art, too, became the vehicle of this moral continuity. During the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, frescoes and reliefs of Cincinnatus appeared in the civic halls of Florence, Venice, and Siena. The selfsame places where merchants, magistrates, and citizens debated the future of their republics. He was portrayed not as a hero of conquest but as a man of measure: sleeves rolled, head bowed, the plow beside him. These images were less adornment than instruction, visual treatises on the duties of citizenship.

By the eighteenth century, Enlightenment thinkers had transformed the Roman ideal into a secular creed. Montesquieu, in The Spirit of the Laws, praised the ancient republic for its “love of equality and virtue.” Rousseau would write in his Discourse on Inequality, “The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, thought of saying ‘This is mine’ and found people simple enough to believe him, was the true founder of civil society.” Yet even as Rousseau lamented property’s corruption, he admired Cincinnatus as the exception: the man who took power not to possess it, but to return it.

The Enlightenment’s fascination with Cincinnatus was not antiquarian nostalgia; it was political aspiration. As Europe’s monarchies strained under the weight of privilege, the Roman myth offered a model for moral authority rooted in service rather than sovereignty. To invoke Cincinnatus was to imagine a world where character outranked class, where moral strength was the measure of legitimacy.

Cabanel inherited this legacy. By the time he painted Cincinnatus Receiving Deputies of the Senate, the Roman farmer had become both symbol and mirror, a way for modern republics to contemplate their origins and their ideals. The mid-nineteenth century, riven by revolutions and the rise of empire, looked backward for guidance. Cabanel’s academic rigor, his sculptural figures and luminous color, belong to that neoclassical impulse that sought moral stability in the aesthetic order of antiquity.

And yet, there is something more than nostalgia in Cabanel’s composition. He does not idealize Rome as perfect; he idealizes the moment of choice. The senators lean forward in expectation; Cincinnatus hesitates, poised between obedience and independence. The moral drama is psychological as much as historical. It is an enactment of what Viktor Frankl would later call the moment of meaning: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose.”

In this sense, Cabanel’s painting is not merely about the past but about the perpetual act of becoming virtuous. Virtus in actione consistit. Virtue does not rest in the field or in the forum, but in the passage between them. It is a movement — outward toward duty, inward toward conscience — and it must be repeated in every age.

If the Renaissance frescoes urged the citizen to act, and the Enlightenment philosophers to reason, Cabanel urges the modern self to remember. His brush restores to view the luminous center of an ancient moral equation: that the strength of the Republic lies not in its institutions, but in the character of those willing to rise from the furrows when the Republic calls.

E Pluribus Unum — Out of Many, One

When the framers of the American Republic chose the motto E pluribus unum—“Out of many, one”—they drew from Virgil’s poem Moretum, where the phrase describes the blending of diverse herbs into a single, harmonious whole. The sentiment was agrarian at its core: unity born from cultivation, from the patient mixing of earth’s elements into sustenance. It was a phrase Rome itself would have understood, and perhaps Cincinnatus would have smiled at its simplicity.

For the generation of Washington, Jefferson, Adams, and Madison, Rome was not distant antiquity. Rome was precedent and warning. They read Livy and Cicero not as historians but as mentors, their Latin maxims adorning private letters and public speeches. In the libraries of colonial Virginia and New England, one could find dog-eared copies of De Officiis, The Republic, and Plutarch’s Lives. Washington himself kept Addison’s tragedy Cato in his collection and quoted its lines of stoic patriotism to his officers at Valley Forge. “What pity is it,” Addison wrote, “that we can die but once to serve our country.”

The founders saw in Cincinnatus the model of the virtuous citizen. They saw a man who wields authority as necessity, not ambition. When the Revolutionary War ended, and Washington resigned his commission before Congress in Annapolis, the world recognized the gesture as classical reenactment. The historian David Humphreys wrote, “The example of Cincinnatus is revived in the person of Washington.” The comparison was not flattery but philosophy: power, rightly held, must end in renunciation.

Even the Society of the Cincinnati, founded in 1783 by officers of the Continental Army, made this lineage explicit. Its insignia depicted Cincinnatus leaving his plow to accept the command of the Senate, and then returning to his fields. Its Latin motto—Omnia reliquit servare rempublicam (“He left all to serve the Republic”)—encapsulated the moral aspiration of the new nation: that republican virtue could transcend centuries, that America might inherit Rome’s civic spirit without its corruption.

Yet, as historian Carl Richard has observed, the founders’ Roman model was double-edged. Rome offered lessons not only in virtue but in decay. Adams feared the fate of the Republic that had succumbed to its own ambition, writing that “democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself.” Jefferson, for all his agrarian idealism, understood the tension between liberty and empire. The Romans’ reverence for the soil mirrored his own belief that the yeoman farmer was the backbone of democracy: self-sufficient, rational, and morally independent. “Cultivators of the earth,” he wrote, “are the most valuable citizens.”

Rome thus became both mirror and map for the new Republic. Its architecture—domes, columns, porticoes—rose again in marble and white stone on the banks of the Potomac. Its language, mottos, and ceremonies infused American political life with the aura of antiquity. But beneath the neoclassical façades lay the old moral question: could power remain pure when transferred from myth to reality, from Cincinnatus’s field to Washington’s republic?

Cabanel’s painting, viewed through this American lens, becomes prophetic. The senators in their togas might as easily be read as delegates of a fledgling congress; the farmer, as the Virginian general who, after victory, longed only to return to Mount Vernon’s fields. The plow, again, is both literal and symbolic. It is the tool that furrows the land and the conscience.

In this transatlantic passage from Rome to America, virtus becomes virtue, and the legend becomes aspiration. The moral economy of the plowman—discipline, humility, moderation—was reinterpreted as the foundation of republican freedom. What began in the dust of the Roman plain was reborn in the new world’s soil: imperium ex aratro once more.

E pluribus unum: from many states, one union; from many citizens, one Republic; from many labors, one liberty. Yet this unity, as both Rome and America remind us, must be renewed by the moral labor of each generation. The furrows of the Republic are not dug once, but forever.

Non sibi, sed patriae — Not for Self, but for Country

Cicero wrote, “He who serves the Republic serves himself best.” Yet the paradox of that service has haunted every generation: how to give without losing the self, how to hold authority without being consumed by it. The Romans called this balance pietas: the reverent duty to one’s gods, family, and country. In that word lay an ethic of belonging: that one’s life was meaningful only insofar as it contributed to something larger.

To stand before Cabanel’s Cincinnatus is to confront this ideal in its purest form. The man who turns from his plow to meet the Senate does not abandon himself; he extends himself. His labor simply changes form: from field to Republic, from earth to state. When his task is finished, he returns to the soil, not as defeat but as fulfillment. There is something profoundly psychological in that motion, a rhythm of engagement and retreat that mirrors the healthy ego’s relationship to the collective.

Seneca, who knew both court and exile, wrote, “A great mind becomes greater when it descends to serve.” This is the moral law of humility: that strength, to remain strength, must bow. In modern terms, Carl Jung would have recognized in Cincinnatus the archetype of the Servant King: the ruler who governs not through dominance, but through integration of the shadow, the acceptance that power must always yield to conscience. Jung wrote, “The true leader is not the man who seeks followers, but the man who awakens leadership in others.”

Leadership, at its highest, is a moral vocation. The Stoics believed that virtue was the only true good; all else—wealth, fame, command—were indifferent, valuable only in how they were used. Epictetus taught, “No man is free who is not master of himself.” In this sense, Cincinnatus’s renunciation of power was not withdrawal but mastery. He showed that the act of letting go can be the ultimate assertion of control.

This principle—non sibi, sed patriae—has guided republics, classrooms, and quiet acts of stewardship for centuries. It is not the motto of conquerors, but of caretakers. It reminds us that service is not a matter of occupation but orientation: a way of standing in relation to others. To serve well is to listen deeply, to teach patiently, to lead by example rather than decree.

For those of us who have spent decades in service—in education, in civic work, in the quiet leadership of institutions—the story of Cincinnatus feels deeply personal. There are days when the plow feels heavy, the field endless, the Senate’s summons unending. Yet the virtue lies not in the grandeur of the task, but in the steadiness of its doing. Teaching, like tending the soil, is a slow cultivation of trust and character. Its harvest is invisible until the season is long past.

I think of my own vocation as a kind of plowing: each lesson turned, each student guided, each policy shaped in the hope that something enduring might take root. There is humility in this rhythm: sowing where one may never see the bloom. Like Cincinnatus, the teacher-leader must learn to release the work once it is done, trusting that others will take up the furrow where he left off.

Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Work is love made visible.” That line might well hang beside Cabanel’s canvas. In it lies the final reconciliation of the private and public selves: the understanding that labor, when offered in love, becomes both prayer and politics, both individual meaning and communal good.

Non sibi, sed patriae. Not for self, but for country. It is the creed of the citizen, the teacher, the artist, and the farmer alike. The creed of those who, by tending their small patch of earth, sustain the moral soil of the Republic.

Ad Plenum Redire Circulum — To Return to the Full Circle

When we return to Cabanel’s Cincinnatus Receiving Deputies of the Senate, we see the same man, the same plow, the same Roman light. But now, the image feels fuller, its meaning harvested from all that history has layered upon it. The plow is no longer merely a tool of labor; it is the emblem of an eternal rhythm. Power rises from the soil and, in time, must return to it.

Seneca wrote, “Omnia in idem volvuntur”—everything turns back into itself. The circle of service and rest, of calling and return, is the moral shape of human life. In Cabanel’s painting, that circle is drawn in light: the curve of Cincinnatus’s arm echoing the arc of the plow, the line of the earth bending toward the horizon. The farmer will walk that furrow again when Rome no longer needs him, the senators long since departed. Duty fulfilled, he will resume his quiet work. Resume the rhythm of hands, earth, and breath restored.

There is a deep peace in that image. The heroic moment dissolves into the ordinary, and it is there, in the ordinary, that the Republic truly endures. Empires fall, but virtue remains in the soil. It remains in the small, repeated acts of cultivation that sustain community and conscience. Laborare est orare: to work is to pray. The circle closes where it began.

In this return, the painting becomes not only a historical allegory but a mirror of the human condition. We are all called, at times, from our private furrows to serve something greater. We rise, we labor, we lead, and then we return, changed, perhaps, but still ourselves. The wisdom lies not in escaping that cycle but in accepting it with grace.

For the Romans, the plow was the symbol of both foundation and humility. Romulus marked the boundaries of Rome with a plow, cutting the first sacred furrow of the city’s walls. Centuries later, Cincinnatus would lay down his plow only to lift it again. And in that gesture—laying down, taking up, returning—lies the continuity of civilization itself.

In modern life, the furrow may take other forms: the desk, the classroom, the committee table, the written word. But the rhythm remains. We plant what we may never harvest; we guide what will outlive us. As Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, “What we do now echoes in eternity.”

I find myself thinking of that each time I look upon Cabanel’s painting: the farmer in sunlight, the senators in shadow, the faint shimmer of dust in the air. It is a painting about humility and consequence, about how all that is noble begins in the ordinary labor of the hands. To lead is to serve; to serve is to till; and to till, in the end, is to pray.

Nightmares & Dreamscapes

Juror 37

Dear journal, 

Today, for the first time, I take my seat as a juror, Juror 37. I have been summoned before, but never chosen. This time, however, I am not merely an observer of the civic process but a participant within it. As a teacher of government and civics, this feels like the culmination of something I have spent years both studying and teaching: the living, breathing act of citizenship.

There is a quiet dignity in the process itself. The formality of the courtroom, the measured cadence of the judge, the deliberate questions from attorneys, all of it feels familiar, yet different when experienced from within rather than from the outside. I once served in an arbitration, but this is something altogether more profound. Arbitration feels procedural; jury duty feels constitutional. It connects the citizen not merely to law but to legacy. It is a tangible reminder that democracy depends not on institutions alone, but on the engagement of its people.

As Alexis de Tocqueville observed, “The jury… invests each citizen with a sort of magistracy; it makes all men feel that they have duties toward society and that they take a share in its government.” That sentence has lived for years on my classroom wall, serving as a provocation for discussion. I have used it to teach students that democracy is not a spectator sport: it is participatory, often inconvenient, and occasionally uncomfortable. Today, those words are no longer an abstraction; they have form, weight, and consequence. I am, for this brief moment, a citizen-magistrate tasked with balancing justice and mercy, law and conscience.

Teaching civics has always been about more than textbooks and tests. It is about cultivating habits of the heart, what John Dewey called the “moral spirit” of democracy. Citizenship is not defined by voting alone but by the willingness to engage, to deliberate, and to care for the common good. To serve on a jury is to inhabit that ethic of care. It is a reminder that the ideals of justice and equality must be continually enacted by ordinary people, one case and one verdict at a time.

There is also something deeply human in this duty. To sit among strangers—each of us drawn from different walks of life, each asked to weigh truth and consequence together—feels profoundly egalitarian. No one’s title or status matters. The CEO and the custodian, the teacher and the retiree, each become equals in the eyes of the law. This, too, is a form of education: the democratic classroom writ large. In that space, we practice listening, reason, and empathy. We practive the very skills I ask of my students every day.

As I sit in that jury box, I feel both small and significant. Small, because the machinery of justice extends far beyond any individual’s reach. Significant, because it requires each of us to give it meaning through participation. My name will not be remembered; no plaque will mark my service. But that is the beauty of it. Democracy endures not through spectacle, but through quiet, consistent acts of belonging. Jury duty, like voting or community service, is one of the ordinary rituals that keep the republic alive.

When I teach about the separation of powers or the Bill of Rights, I often remind my students that the Constitution is not self-executing. It relies on citizens to interpret, defend, and uphold it. Today, as Juror 37, I understand that truth with new clarity. To serve is not a burden; it is a privilege. It is a momentary embodiment of the civic faith that has sustained this nation through centuries of conflict, progress, and renewal.

In a time when cynicism often outweighs engagement, and outrage replaces dialogue, this act of service feels radical in its simplicity. It is a reminder that justice, like democracy, is not an abstract ideal. It is a shared endeavor. And so, as I take my seat and listen to the first words of the case, I feel the quiet pride of a citizen doing his part. Not as a teacher explaining the system, but as a participant living within it.

Always, 

Dave 

PS Well, it was an interesting morning. The defendant didn't show up to their hearing, so the jury was dismissed. I remain "on call" for the remainder of 2025. Maybe I'll get my opportunity to sit on a jury next time.